After eventually drying out from my coastal endeavours the other day I decided to work on my Borders project and so made my way to Kielder Forest, part of which runs along my project route.
After a very pleasant drive though winding country roads of autumnal colour I entered Kielder Park (the biggest man made forest in Northern Europe).
As I have written about the park before, in particular how much it resembles its America counterparts, I will not go into too much detail. But before I ventured into the misty woodland I proceeded to fill my face with a rather naff cod and chips which was so dry I had to lace it with vinegar which in turn gave me the sweats. Belly full of sweaty cod I made my way into the misty forest at around 4 in the PM with my trusty (and a bit rusty) 5/4. At this time of year the forest floor is a wash with a vivid lime green spongy moss which looks rather wonderful and so I made a few exposures and had a bit of a nice time, apart from being feasted on by midges!. After about an hour I developed some slight stomach pains, which I put down to the one eyed cod I had eaten earlier, and so I sat with my back against the straightest pine tree I could find and waited for the cramps to subside (not the first time this has happened). Tired from my last few days outings I happened to dose off only to awake in what seemed to be total darkness. Of course I am always well equipped, and before you know it I was donning a head lamp and waving a glow stick in the air like I was Obi Wan Kanoobee.
Its always baffled me how I can navigate my way across vast continents and live with wild beasts but could not find my way out of a small section of man made forest. The darkness had thrown my bearings off and I just didn't have a clue. Everywhere looked the same with its stupid man made trees in a straight line nonsense. At one point I was about to light a fire and make camp, but everywhere was as damp and soggy as a students flat and if theres one thing I dont like, its being wet (or moist). After what seemed like hours in the jungle I ended up in a Caravan Park and had to bribe two kiddies with glow sticks so I could find my way back to where I had parked the car, but even in the car park I couldn't find the car for a fair old bit. Then there was the fog, thick as Grannies blanket, making the drive home a total nightmare.
Safe to say I wont be going back there in a hurry.

So thats my bit of adventure over for now. I shall leave you to dream about my midge bitten, vinegar sweating, pale baldy heed and soggy pants as I make my way back to the Big Smoke...

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