TALE OF TINA THE TOOTHLESS TAILOR.....

I thought it would be a good idea today to select my North Shores opening night outfit which was to be in the form of a fine tailored suit. As it had been sometime since I wore my suit of suits I thought I better try it on before I took it to the dry cleaners. The pants sharp and very comfortable slide on with ease, in fact they were so comfortable I might have to start wearing them around the house and when I feel the need to relax...
What happened next was not unlike thinking you are as fit as you were when you were eighteen and could out run your nephew, fight five big youths and may be wrestle a lion , all of which twenty years later you cannot. Ok maybe I could wrestle the lion if it had no teeth or claws and a lame paw... As I slipped on the jacket with its flawless stitching and impeccable cut, I began to think it didn't feel like it did when I first bought it. The sleeves were a little tighter, as were the shoulders and as for around the chest, well it felt like a heart attack. I couldn't even fasten the two shinny buttons.. My first thoughts (apart from you fat bastard), where a mixture of disbelief and anger as I breathed in as much as I could to try and make those dammed buttons connect... But before you all start to think that Doyle has become lazy and referred back to his days of champion pie eater, let me shed a little light on this very serious matter..

I've been working out, working out like I was Daniel Craig. In fact I heard he had the same problem with his Bond suits. I tried to tell this to Tina, my tailor, but shes heard it all before apparently. "More like too many pies" she said "And in a recession too...!" It was the last bit which made me laugh out loud, as did Tina and reminded me that she has no front teeth.
Just to make things clear my waist is the same size as it was at 18, I am 6 feet 1 and 185 pounds with 10 percent body fat. And although not super human I am handsome and now the proud owner of a nice new suit...
Now all I need to do is sell some work to pay for that dam suit (and all the working out).

This is not a dating website.